When Life Gives You Lemons...

...make lemonade!

I'm drinking lots of lemonade right now (figuratively speaking), but not because life has been throwing me lemons. Nope. I'm gulping lemonade because life is handing me cup after cup. I feel super blessed!

Here are a few glasses of lemonade in my life:

1. I'm married to the most AMAZING man in the entire world! He brings home soup from Zupas when I'm sick, tells me how beautiful I am even if I haven't taken a shower all day, and picks me up at the train station every evening so I don't have to sit on the bus for an hour and 15 minutes after work. Plus I get hugs and kisses whenever I want them. I'm so spoiled.

2. I got promoted at work! After only 6 weeks of working as Deseret Book Company's main receptionist, I've been promoted to Product Development Assistant. This means I finally reached my dream job (outside of being a mom and a writer) of working in Publishing! And not only do I get to work in Publishing, but I work directly with manuscript submissions and evaluations and authors! As much as I enjoyed editing, I knew I could never sit and edit other people's manuscripts for the rest of my life. Instead, I get to help decide what Deseret Book publishes, and that's pretty exciting to me. And lucky me--I work with some of the best people ever!

3. I'm getting healthy again! After 5+ days of being sick with a sore throat that turned into a cold that turned into a sinus infection that almost turned into an ear infection, it's SO nice to feel healthy again. I love being able to breathe out of my nose and to move without hurting and to swallow without my throat being on fire.... I really take health for granted.

4. It's Christmas time! Most of my Christmas shopping is already done, my apartment is decorated--including lights on my deck--and I'm listening to all the Christmas music I can get! Nothing gets better than Christmas.

5. I'm writing and reading again! Sitting on the train or bus everyday has its lemonade too--reading time! And despite working full time now, I'm still finding time to write.

I'm pretty happy right now. Obviously, life isn't perfect, but I'm definitely enjoying the lemonade that I've been given.

Now for something random. Someone made an old-fashioned, British cobble-stone street out of gingerbread for this year's Festival of Trees (see http://richardandallisonmathews.blogspot.com for more details), and it even included a bookstore!

This really made my night :)

Sunset

Does it ever amaze you how short the life of a sunset is? A few minutes ago, I looked up from my computer to see the most breath-taking sunset out my sliding glass window. And I'm not trying to be cliche--it really did take my breath away! I quickly grabbed my camera and tried to snap a few pictures from my deck, none of which truly capture the vibrant hues of the sky. For one moment, the sunset was mine and mine alone.

And then it was gone. I came back inside, sat back at my table, and the next time I looked up (only 2 or 3 minutes later), the sky was dark, and the reds and oranges had disappeared behind the mountains in the distance.

How often this reflects my life--especially my writing. For a moment, I feel like I'm the most inspired writer alive. Ideas flood to me in a variety of colors, and I try to get it all down in words as fast as I can. But minutes--even seconds--later, the moment passes, and I find myself staring at my computer screen again.

I'm grateful for this sunset tonight because it reminded me of the beauty of the moment. It's definitely easier to focus on the darkness we see after the sunset rather than remember the 3 or 4 minutes it took our breath away. If I dwell on the times I don't feel inspired to write, then I'd never write. Instead, I try to remember all the moments I've known writing is what I'm supposed to do and how happy finishing a chapter or scene makes me feel. It's 16 days into Nanowrimo, and I've revised 16 chapters! I'm halfway to meeting my goal, and the future looks bright.

Sneak Peek!

As those of you who have been following this blog (and the one before this one) know, I've been working on the same novel for about 8 years. Obviously, there were times within those 8 years that I hardly touched it due to school or work, but the story meant enough to me to keep writing. Finally, about two years ago, I completed my first draft. Now I'm trying desperately to revise and prepare it for submission.

And as most of you writers know, this month is Nanowrimo, or National Novel Writing Month. But instead of making a goal to write a new novel, my new goal is to revise a chapter of my novel a day. This means 30 chapters* before December!  And because my novel is technically 43 chapters (which is going to change--I promise), that means I'll almost be done with the 2nd draft by the end of the month! I'm excited and ready to meet this goal!

Now what you've all been waiting for: a sneak peek of my novel!  I'm always having people ask me what my novel is about, so here is just a few paragraphs (about a page double spaced) of my story to give you a feel for it. No, this hasn't been edited; in fact, I just wrote this part a few days ago, so please forgive any errors you might find--I know it's far from perfect! Just as a note, this sneak peek begins a few pages into my novel as well, so this is not how it starts. But it should give you somewhat of an idea of what my novel is about (or foreshadowing what it's going to be about).  Enjoy!  And don't forget: I always appreciate comments and feedback, especially about my writing, so please don't hesitate to tell me what you think (please, please, please!)

For months, the peach orchard was Leah’s only solace after her father died. Now, with the burden of attending the Harvest Festival at the forefront of her mind, Leah went to the first tree still laden with fruit, took off her shoes, and began to climb. The branches carried her weight as if she were one of them, and the peaches fit inside the palm of her hand like a mold as she began to pick. Even the velvet skin no longer tickled her hand as it did as a child, but felt soft and familiar. Using her apron like a bowl, Leah gently placed the ripe peaches inside. The fruit felt warm under the late summer sun, and the smell of nectar filled the air and calmed any of her lingering nerves.

            Life in the orchard was simple and, really, the only life Leah knew. She was born in a small cottage on the northern edge of Dale’s property, and because her mother had died three weeks after her birth, she had lived there with her father until he passed away. From her tree, Leah could still see the straw-thatched roof of the cottage, which was nearly hidden by trees. She could also see most of Dale’s land, including the gray-stoned manor house where she now lived and the mote that snaked around the southern side before disappearing into the woods. There was the vegetable garden, the stables, the cottages, and the wheat fields, all surrounded thick forests that Leah had explored long ago. 

Leah could also see the castle in the east, and her eyes focused on it as they often did as a child. It was only a speck in the distance, but the light stone stood out among the green hill and dark trees as it looked over the town below. The manor was a beautiful home, yet her father had described something much grander after returning from delivering peaches to the royal family. He even explained that the stone castle was built in the very center of Odelle to represent the strength found at the core of the kingdom and its people. Leah especially loved hearing stories about the prince, who was only a few years older than her and almost as fond of peaches.

A wave of longing spread through her entire body just as it had years ago. For years, Leah dreamed about seeing it up close; now, in less than a day’s time, she would be standing in the castle’s shadows. She could hear Dale’s words replaying in her mind, and for the first time, she wanted to taste whatever happiness awaited her at the Harvest Festival, beyond the orchard.

(2011 Copyright of Allison Mathews)

*For those clever folks out there reading this and remembering that last month I promised to complete the first 5 chapters of my novel (meaning I should be starting my Nanowrimo goal at chapter 6), I'm sad to say I only got through the first chapter of my novel in October. It was mostly due to getting a new job, as well as the fact that I wasn't actually revising my first chapter; I was completely re-writing it. But I'm hoping to keep make my goal this month and so far, so good!

A Future of Possibilities

I got a new job!  At first, I was dreading it, but now that I've almost finished my first week, I feel extremely blessed.  I guess for you to understand why, you'll have to know what I'm doing.

I'm a receptionist for Deseret Book, as in I answer and transfer phone calls and greet guests and customers at the Deseret Book Corporation downtown SLC.  Being a receptionist may not have too many perks, but working for a well-know publishing company certainly does!  In fact, one of the main editors who looks at book submissions actually came to the lobby and talked to me about my editing past and writing dreams today.  Then she asked me if I'd be interested in helping her evaluate some manuscripts submissions because they're so behind, and I have the background experience.  I was giddy with excitement! I hoped that working for DB may be a step in the door, either for working as an editor or getting my novel submitted.  Now an editor who works there knows who I am, my background, and will actually see some of my editing at work.  And because getting published is often about who you know, I feel like I have an even greater chance of them reading some of my stuff in the near future.  Maybe I won't even have to worry about finding an agent first.

Ah, life is grand!  I definitely felt guided in applying and getting this job, and I feel like I'm heading in the right direction for fulfilling one of my greatest dreams ever.  Being a writer feels good and right, even if I am working a part-time job as a receptionist.  Who knows what the future will bring? :)

Confession

Now that we're 10 days into October, I decided I'd better confess about September's writing goal.

It didn't go too well.

I was thinking about listing all my excuses as to why I didn't write as much as I had hoped and planned, but I'm sure that's the last thing you care about reading.  Yes, there were a few things that were out of my control (losing a week's worth of my writing and a family crisis, to name a few), and I had to make decisions about priorities.  Ultimately, I wasn't able to write everyday, and the days I did write weren't longer than an hour or two at the most.  I had a hard time focusing and really getting my hands dirty.  And sometimes I even avoided working on my novel because I was so overwhelmed by how much there was to do (a downfall to being a perfectionist).

And, yes, I am very disappointed in myself.  How will I ever reach my goal of becoming a published writer if I don't write?

I'm also feeling like my time is running out.  It's as if I can count the remaining pieces of sand in the hourglass, and it's not impressive.  In fact, it's dauntingly few.  It not necessarily saying I will never get published; it's more saying that my time getting my novel ready for submission is running out because life is still happening as I avoid my computer.  And it's definitely changing and picking up speed for me.  Yes--this is the SAME novel I've been working on since high school!  Should I give up on it and just move on?  I have a million story ideas running through my mind, but if I never write them down, they're basically useless.  At the same time, I've felt impressed to keep working on my novel these past 6, 7, 8 years...doesn't that mean something too?  But if there is a deadline I'm unaware of, then I might have to put it aside one of these days.

Right now, I'm job-less, child-less, big obligation-less.  It's the ideal time to write.  But I am feeling the pressures to move on, especially if I can't take it seriously and accomplish my goals.

On to October (and a more optimistic view of my writing).  It may be the 10th, but it can still be a fresh start, right?  Maybe last month's goal was too big.  Maybe I just need to remember baby steps.

October's writing goal: Finish revising the first 5 chapters of my novel. 

Perhaps this is too simple of a goal, but it's a start. No time restraints or daily obligations--just one goal at large.  As Ty says on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (which I'm obsessed with), "LET'S DO IT!"   

And I really believe I can.  Even if life is leaving me breathless at times, I can still make the effort to get 5 chapters "done."  Here's to reaching my goal!

Books, Books, Books!

I almost forgot how good it feels to sit down and read a book.  

Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but I don't think I finished more than 1 book (maybe 2?) between February and June because of how busy I was.  

So in August and September, I kind of exploded with reading, which has been amazing.  

And inspiring.

Here are the books I've read and recommend:

Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea, and Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery

It took 3 books before Anne finally had sense to see Gilbert the way she should see him, but it was worth every page to get there ;)

 Matched by Ally Condie 

Amazing.  

I'd compare this to The Giver and The Hunger Games in context and in it's ability to keep you turning pages to find out what happens.  

The sequel comes out on Nov. 1st!

Austenland by Shannon Hale

Shannon Hale is one of my favorite authors, and because I've been following her blog with updates on the new Austenland movie coming out, I thought I'd finally get around to reading the book.  

I wouldn't put this as my favorite Hale novel, but I was pleasantly surprised.  

Every Jane Austen fanatic should read this.

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

Ok, yes--I'll admit it.  

I've probably read this book about 2 or 3 dozen times because it's my absolute FAVORITE book ever.  

And even after this last reading, I fell in love with it again.  

The writing and fairy-tale plot really inspires my own novel.  

And sometimes you just need to go back to your happy place...

 

 Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

I actually read this one a few months ago, but never mentioned it on my blog until now.  

I must say, I'm a little embarrassed to have graduated with a BA in English and never have read this until last spring. 

Why did I wait so long?!  

It was a GREAT Gothic novel that had me longing for more.  

The ultimate love story.   

Seriously--read it if you haven't! 

(P.S. The new movie wasn't too bad either, if you haven't seen it.  But read the book first!)

 The Castle Corona by Sharon Creech

I LOVE this book!

I actually listened to it on CD and really enjoyed the narrator.  The characters truly came to life, and the writing was fun.

If you like fairy tales or books that take place in the Medieval era, you'll love this one!

  The Help by Kathryn Stockett

I haven't actually finished this one yet, but I'm currently reading it and thought I'd give it a little shout-out. 

Even after the first page, I knew it was going to be good.  

The characters and voices suck you in right away, and then the plot as it unfolds.  

If life hadn't been in the way, I'd be finished with it. 

But soon, very soon.
(And then maybe the movie, which I also hear is amazing.)

Q: Point-of-view

Which do you prefer:

1st person point-of-view

"I/We said"

or 

3rd* person point-of-view

"She/He said"

and why?

(*I just found out I had written "2nd" person by mistake.  I officially fail as an editor--hopefully I'll be more successful as a writer ;))

Getting Over that Curve Ball

Well, here I am again working on my blog and NOT working on my novel like I'm supposed to.  I have to be honest, losing that chapter was a huge dent in the road of my writer's journey.  I know it doesn't compare to losing a loved one, but I seriously got emotional about it all day long.  It was a great loss to me, and I was frustrated with writing in general.  And I really did eat a bowl of ice cream while reading Ella Enchanted to make me feel better.

Yesterday, I went to the temple and felt at peace with things.  I guess I needed a spiritual boost after such a low day, and it really helped.  However, when I came home, turned on my laptop, and tried writing again, it was tough.  Like writing-a-semester-paper-worth-50%-of-your-grade tough.  I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to try to re-write what I had (based on what I can remember) or write something new and, hopefully, better.  I played with it for about an hour, never getting it to sound or feel right.  Finally, I gave up and moved on to where I had left off in the chapter (the few paragraphs that didn't get erased).  Although I enjoyed that much better, I still felt a nagging for those unwritten beginning pages.  I'm the kind of writer who may have later scenes planned out but still has to write from start to finish.  And my opening is far from being finished.

So there's the update.  I know it's like getting bucked-off a horse: you have to get back on.  And I'm trying to work on this novel without getting frustrated.  I love it a lot and feel strongly that if I work hard enough, it will get published someday.  However, the road to getting there doesn't always look so great, and I know it's going to take a lot of positive self-talk to get me to push through these first few chapters and into more exciting, new scenes.

Frustration

I am super frustrated and sad right now.  After doing my usual chores, running to the bank, eating lunch, etc., I came to the computer to start working on my novel.  As I opened the Word doc, which I had saved not only to my portable hard drive, but to my computer and email as well, I discovered that EVERYTHING I had written over the past week was gone.

GONE!!!!!!!!! 

So now I'm sitting at the desk crying (literally) and not sure what to do.  Maybe no one else can relate (although I'm sure if you've had to write papers in college, you had at least one incident where your computer crashed and you lost everything you'd been working on...been there, done that), but my story is like my baby.  And I lost a piece of it that I've put my heart and soul into.  This past week I focused on the first chapter again and cut a ton out.  In fact, I re-wrote almost all of it, and I was feeling great about it.  No, seriously--an agent was going to read the first page and call me up immediately to ask if they could represent me great.  And now it's gone.  All those hours of work gone.

I don't know what I should do at this point.  Trying to re-write what I had feels like pulling out my own teeth.  I'm so frustrated that I'm ready to throw my hat in and forget about the whole thing.  It was perfect, and now it's gone.  And I have no idea how.  Obviously, something was pushed or touched that deleted everything I wrote, or track changes somehow rejected my changes, and then it was saved that way without me knowing it.  And not only was it saved that way once, but three times in three different places.  For the first time in my life, I wish I weren't such a "click on the save button" paranoid person.  Not saving it could've saved my story.

I spent 3 days trying to write the first sentence.  How am I supposed to re-write it?!  Ahhhhh, sometimes being a writer is tougher than it sounds.  Sorry for such a negative blog post, but I had to vent.  Now I guess I'd better take a walk or read Ella Enchanted or watch Pride and Prejudice while eating Udderly Chocolate ice cream to get my mind off of things.

The Distractions

Yes, it's true--even a committed writer gets preoccupied now and then.  

Some call it writer's block.  

I call it those day-to-day distractions and inconveniences.  

And now that I have the time to write, one thing after another seems to get in the way.  

1. Broken Power Adapter

Yes, this little (IMPORTANT) guy snapped over the weekend, leaving me laptop-less.  

Luckily, Richard has a monitor and laptop he's letting me use while he's at work.  

I'm already worried about my computer dying at any moment and need to buy a new laptop soon.
Why, power adapter, why?!?

2. Summer

   No, I can't say I walk out my door everyday to this, but my apartment complex DOES have a nice pool and lounge chairs calling my name.  

Bring the computer outside with me, you say?  

Nah, a book is so much lighter.  

And cooler.

3. Vacations!

 Along a well-known road called Route 66 is a small, Arizonan town called Kingman.

I spent Labor day weekend there with my husband and his family.

In a week, I'll be off to Oregon as well.

These vacations are great but awful for a trying-to-stay-on-a-schedule writer.

But I'm still trying to write at least a little every day--even if it's for only 10 minutes.

4. Household Chores

 

Right.

As I walk from the bedroom to our office, I have to pass the kitchen.

Passing the kitchen reminds me that I still need to do last night's dishes.

After 20 minutes of washing, I'm again walking to the office...and pass the living room.  

DVDs are all over the floor, couch pillows are in disarray, and the carpets are filthy.

And passing the washer and dryer remind me of all the dirty clothes piled high from our last vacation.

Oh, and don't forget those bathrooms.  Uggh.

Four hours later, I might make it to the office, where my computer waits for me to start typing.

But, what's that?  Distraction number 5...

5. ...Blogging

Yes, it's very true.  

I can't seem to get on the computer without checking my blog...or other people's blog.

Then I start working on my design.

Check my email.

Facebook?

Start searching the web for who knows what.

And another hour or two go by without me even opening my novel in Word.

I'm doing it right now, in fact.

So there you have it: my top 5 distractions/inconveniences that seem to pull my time and attention away from what I SHOULD be doing:

Writing.

Working on my novel.

Getting this 2nd draft done.

Submitting to agents.
But I'm so grateful to have this time to write and live the writer's dream.

And posting on my blog is writing, is it not? ;)

"New" Blog

Well, as you probably just discovered, I have a "new" blog.  Basically, it's all the history/ past posts of my old writer's blog with a new URL and look.  Honestly, I'm still playing with the design, so it may change from time to time.  But my writer's blog was definitely in need of an update since my name has changed and I created a new family blog (richardandallisonmathews.blogspot.com (it's private, so send me your email address if you'd like an invite)) a few weeks ago.  Now it's time to focus this blog on my writing again.  This blog is where I'll keep my updates about my novel(s), publishing, writing and editing tips and facts, goals, books I've read, writing exercises, etc.  Hopefully it won't bore you too much, but in reality, it's more for me than anyone else.  But I do enjoy hearing from you, so please feel free to comment as much as you'd like!       

Open Window

My internship ends in 4 more days. Where has the past year gone?

And where will the next year take me?

Obviously, that's the biggest question running through my head right now. But if I have any control over it (and luckily I do to some extent), the next focus will be on my writing.

Finally, right?!?

In one more week, I will be 100% committed to my novel again and the plethora of novels lingering in my brain. I will finally have time to write, write, and write.

I know you're probably thinking (because I'm always thinking it): why haven't you been writing? People make time to do the things that are important to them, right? Well, I guess getting married and starting my life as a wife became the priority, and my writing got pushed to the side for awhile. I don't necessarily regret this, but I do miss writing. Sure, most authors have a family and obligations other than writing. Some of my favorite authors, like Shannon Hale, are even trying to balance the most important task of being a stay-at-home-mom and their writing career. I haven't been as good at balancing my time, but I'm ready to make writing a priority in my life once again. It was almost a year ago that I made my November goal to write everyday that month, and I did. Wow, that was an exhilarating month! Now my goal is to do it again, but to a greater extent. I won't have a full-time job taking up almost all of my time. My new full-time job will be writing.

Yes: it time to be a writer again. A serious writer. A writing-6-to-8-hours-a-day writer. A writer with an agent, an editor, and a published novel. A professional.

Something I've learned from past writing classes and conferences is being a published writer is a lot of work. You really have to treat it as your job and put in the hours. There are deadlines to meet and hundreds of pages to revise and cut. And now that I have this opportunity, I'm ready to take it seriously and get to work.

The goals: (1) Complete a second (more like third) draft of my novel and prepare it for submission, which means edit, edit, and edit! (2) Start submitting queries to agents like crazy! (3) In the meantime (since it can take up to 6 months to hear back from an agent), put my first novel aside and begin a second novel. (4) Hopefully find an agent and begin the next steps to getting published!

This means writing every day, writing for a few hours (4 to 6 minimum) everyday, and pushing through any writer's block that may come my way, no matter how difficult it is.

Phew! Sounds exciting, doesn't it? I can't wait to get started!

As a quick side note, I have enjoyed this past year as an editing internship working on the Joseph Smith Papers tremendously. I met a lot of amazing, talented people, as well as received some great experience editing, source checking, proofing, and learning more about church history. But as sad as it is to shut the door on this area of my life, it feels right to move on and focus on my goal to become a published writer someday. As Maria says on The Sound of Music, "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." I really believe this is true, and hopefully my open window is facing the world of a true, published writer.

Date A Girl Who Reads

Date a Girl Who Reads
by Rosemarie Urquico*
(Dedicated to my bookworm soul-mate, Haley ;))

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You'll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She's the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That's the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She's the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she's kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author's making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she like the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.**

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce's Ulysses she's just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It's easy to date a girl who reads. Giver her books for her birthday, for Christmas, and for anniversaries. Giver her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Giver her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she know the difference between books and reality but...she's going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, maker her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She'll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. or during a rock concert. or very casually next time she's sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn't burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you're better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.


(*This post was borrowed from another friend's post)
(**I am not endorsing drinking coffee ;))

Changes

[Note: I know how seeing titles like this can automatically mean boring to a reader, especially if there aren't any pictures in the post. I won't be hurt if you don't read the entire entry, but please scroll to the last two paragraphs if that's the only thing you choose to read. Thanks!]

I've been thinking a lot about change lately. It's interesting how things are always changing--for better or for worse--whether we want them to or not. We have complete control over some changes (usually the ones we want or like), and other changes we feel like spectators watching our lives flash before our eyes. These changes are usually the harder ones to cope with: ones where we have no control and all we can do is trust in the Lord and move forward or stand back and cry.

Obviously, marriage is a huge change--a very positive one. I am very happy right now with my decision to marry Richard and spend eternity with him. But it still has made me pause about life a lot and other things happening around me. Meeting Richard, falling in love, getting engaged, and getting married were obviously very positive changes. And despite not having any control over the timing of it all, I did make choices along the way that resulted in the change of lifestyles for both of us (going from single to married). AND now that I'm married and feeling a little more settled, I've been reflecting a lot more on other areas of my life.

In 23 days, my internship with the Joseph Smith Papers will end.
I'm no longer a citizen of Oregon, but of Utah.
Some of my best friends and family have moved away, resulting in seeing them less.
My name has changed. And my signature.
I'm in a new ward, new apartment complex, new city.
I'm looking for a new job.
I'm trying to eat healthier, get more sleep, and exercise more.
And I'm a wife.

I can't necessarily go down the list and say whether each thing is a good or bad change (well, having friends and family move away can be depressing, and I LOVE being a wife). Funny how when you list things happening in your life like I just did, it makes things clearer. Some of these changes I control, others I don't. But my attitude towards these changes is in my hands.

Interesting how that works.

Change = good or bad depending on our perspective. And whether we're looking for work or moving to a new city or dealing with the loss of a loved one, we can embrace the change--no matter how hard it is--and continue to see the beauty of life, or we can let it slowly eat at us until it's harder to count our blessings every day. Obviously, no one is perfect at this; I'm writing this because I'm not good at it. But I know I can get better at seeing the good in all kinds of change--the big or small. Trusting in the Lord is always the key, as well as understanding that He has a much bigger, better plan in store for us than we have for ourselves.

So my life may be completely different than it was a year ago, but the changes along the way have brought me where I am today. Moving to Utah last August was tough for me (as you may remember from my fall 2010 posts), but that change led me to meeting Richard. Getting a minor in editing wasn't ideal, but it led me to an ideal internship which has made me more aware of publishing, as well as given me a greater knowledge and stronger testimony of Joseph Smith and the early history of the Church. Now it's ending and I'll be back in the pool of unemployed looking for work, but I'll have more time to focus on my writing, as well as read a few books that have been on my list for months. I truly believe there's always something positive to look for in change, despite the difficulty in finding it--especially in the moment. But it's there, even if we don't know why or how.

Speaking of changes, there will be some new changes with blogging shortly. Richard and I have a new blog, which is currently in the works (I'll share the URL soon!). And the blog you're currently reading (or possibly a new blog with an updated URL) will go back to being a blog about writing and reading and publishing--my author's blog--once again, especially as I try to focus on meeting some new writing goals.

So the question is, who reads my blog (if anyone)? And would you be interested in following mine and Richard's family blog once it's ready to go? I'm planning on making it private once we're in the swing of things and keeping this one public. So let me know if you're interested! I'd love to continue sharing my thoughts and feelings (and pictures!) with you as I experience more changes in the weeks and months to come.

Poor Spelling Pays Off

Since this blog was initially a writer's blog instead of a personal blog, I decided I'd better add some thoughts on writing now and again.

One of my co-workers sent me an article titled, "The Price of Typos" by Virginia Heffernan. It was printed in The New York Times. In a quick summary, she writes about how spelling errors in the publishing world are becoming more and more common, and editors and authors can both take the blame. But what really stood out to me was her beginning insights to the benefits of poor spelling. And let's be honest--I'm one of the worst spellers in the world. My mom used to ask me, "For one who reads so much, how can you spell so poorly?" I used to ask myself the same question. Fortunately, Ms. Heffernan seems to have an answer (although I didn't agree with everything she wrote). She says:

"Bad spellers, of course, can be sublime writers and good spellers punctilious duds.... A writer with a mind that doesn't register how words are spelled tends to see through the words he encounters--straight to the things, characters, ideas, images and emotions they conjure. A good speller, by contrast--the kind who never fail to clock the idiosyncratic orthography of "algorithm" or "Albert Pujols"--tends to see language as a system. Good spellers are often drawn to poetry and wordplay, while bad spellers, from who language is a conduit and not an end in itself, can excel at representation and reportage."

So there you have it--perhaps being a bad speller is a blessing! I definitely have more of a writer's mind than an editor's, despite my current working position, and I definitely see words for their use in the whole rather than their individual meaning. Words seem to constantly flow into my mind when I write, and I try getting them onto the page as quickly as they come without stopping to worry about spelling. Even when I read, I don't focus on the actual type on the page--I'm too wrapped up in how the words are being used to portray a scene, character, etc. As much as editing can have its moments of pleasure, I'd rather avoid the technical and let someone else worry about it.

After all, I am a writer.

(Now I'm sure all my spelling errors will stand out from this point on.)

True Love

"True love blooms when we care more about another person than about ourselves."

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Married Life

Richard and I have been married for almost 4 weeks now! We're completely moved in and settled into our new apartment, which we LOVE. Duplicate wedding gifts have been returned and other household essentials have been bought with gift cards. I put the kitchen together on Sunday (including drooling over my new Kitchenaid as I took it out of the box), and we even found a new couch and chair from ksl.com a week or two ago, which we're already breaking in. And my favorite part addition to the apartment? Our two new bookcases!!! They're both set up and full of all our books (aka mostly my books, although Richard did have a few to contribute to our library-in-progress). I'll have to post pictures as soon as I remember to take some...

I'm still waiting to get my DVD of photos from our wedding photographer, but as soon as I do, I'll be sure to post my favorites. Sadly, no one seems to have taken pictures of the wedding day except for the photographer and my aunt (life saver!) My aunt even presented us with an album full of her pictures when we returned from our honeymoon. I've posted a few on facebook, so I guess look there if you're interested in wedding photos until I get the professional ones (which I'll post here...someday).

We just returned from our first ward party, and I'm pretty excited about our ward. It seems to have a good blend of young married couples, well-established families, and elderly couples. And everyone seems so friendly! I'm sure they'll put us to work in no time.

In summary, married life is AMAZING. I feel so blessed not only to be married, but to be married to Richard, who is nothing short of perfect. Our first week back to real life, he got up early and made me lunches for work, including writing "Allison Mathews" on the paper bag. He has been a big help putting are apartment together (he makes our bed almost every day!) and being patient with my picky organizing and decorating wants. Perhaps he still doesn't understand why I needed new silverware and real glasses rather than the miss-match forks and spoons and plastic cups, but he has happily gone with the flow and let me do what I want. And I love him even more everyday =)

I'm still in Limbo between being Allison Morgan and Allison Mathews. As hard as I try to introduce myself as Allison Mathews, I'm still technically Allison Morgan until our marriage license arrives in the mail and I can legally change my name. Meanwhile, I have to keep signing with my maiden name since that's what it says on all the cards but practice getting used to being "Sister Mathews" or "Richard's wife"--both GREAT titles =) And practicing my new signature is like learning cursive all over again. How in the world do you go from a cursive "w" to a cursive "s"? But one positive: I now get to cross a "t"!

Well, this is beginning to sound more like one of my journal entries or a rambling voice message more than anything else. What good is a blog if there aren't any pictures? So here are a few from the Utah open-house (sorry there aren't very many, but I wasn't the one behind the camera):

The YUMMY food Richard's mom, sister, and sister-in-law prepared for us.

The guest book table with pictures from our wedding

A few nieces and nephews enjoying the ipad. I'm sure that was the highlight of the party.

Richard and I greeting guests. It was fun meeting so many of Richard's old mission companions and friends from past wards.

Gift opening! All the nieces and nephews wanted a turn "helping" us unwrap our gifts. It may have been close to chaos by the end, but it was a lot of fun. It feels good being an aunt =)

Happy Man

This is Richard. I have hacked into Allison's blog. I just wanted her blogosphere to know that I am the luckiest guy in the entire world to be able to call Allison my wife. That is all. You may now go back to your everyday blogging.

I am sure Allison will update this piece of cyberspace sometime in the future.

2 weeks!!!

Only two more weeks EXACTLY from today until Richard and I are married!!!

Yes, I am a little excited. It's sometimes hard to believe that the day is almost here, especially after 3 months of waiting (yes, I know--3 months isn't that long), and other times I think about it and go, "Holy cow! I'm getting married in 2 weeks!" It's still pretty surreal, especially after so many years of hoping for it and thinking about it and wondering about the who and when and how. And even though I obviously don't know what the future holds, I do know who I will be traveling the road of life with, and that's both exciting and comforting.

Another update: We're moving our stuff into our new apartment on Thursday! This was a surprise to both Richard and I as of 2 days ago when we received a phone call from the apartment complex we'll be staying at and they told us our apartment became available a week early. This is GREAT news since originally we would've been moving the day before driving to Oregon (which would've meant chaos, extreme exhaustion, and a LONG night before getting up extra early the next day and driving for 12 hours). However, this also means I'll be packing all weekend long! But I actually enjoy packing and cleaning and organizing, and this move is especially exciting because it means closing the door on one stage of my life and opening a door to another. Crazy how life works sometimes. I'll be the one staying at our new place until we're married, which will also give me a chance to start unpacking and get things settled so the apartment will be semi-put together when we return as newlyweds.

I can't wait!!!

The final sprint!

I know I should be in bed right now, or at least getting ready for bed, but a lot is running through my mind and I just have to write.

1 month until the big day.

31 days.

4 weeks and 3 days.

It feels like an eternity, and yet a speeding train all at the same time. I'm so excited, and then I look at my list of things left to do. Planning a wedding entails the craziest mix of emotions imaginable. I feel like I'm up and down constantly. I'm experience more joy than I've ever known in my life, as well as some pretty draining and stressful nights.

But it's DEFINITELY worth it. In 1 month/31 days/4 weeks and 3 days, I'll be married to my best friend! How did I get to be so blessed?

So as an update since I know I've been neglecting my blog, most of the BIG decisions/to-dos are done! Wedding colors, cake planning, engagement photos, wedding dress, flowers, announcements (we finished these tonight and will get them in the mail tomorrow--hooray!), photographer, hair, apartment shopping--all planned and done except for some reception details (my mom has been an angel and is doing a lot of work in Oregon to help get ready for this). And I must say, Richard has been a HUGE help in all of this as well (except the dress ;)) Again, I'm not sure how I got so lucky to find a man who is willing to help and add input when I ask, but otherwise let's me plan to my heart's content. I'm surprised he's not going insane yet with me constantly changing my mind about bridesmaid dresses or being picky about table centerpieces or stressing about address labels. He has been so loving and patient and supportive, and I love him for it =)

And despite the chaos of planning a wedding, we've managed to sneak away from our cares now and then and simply enjoy each others' company. In fact, last Saturday Richard planned our day: from hiking to ice cream to going to a driving range to dinner, the day was packed with fun. He certainly treats me better than I deserve!

So that's the update; at least, all I have time for since it's midnight and I do have to get up and be at work by 8. Speaking of work--the internship is going great! I also have bitter-sweet feelings about it since the internship ends in 3 months (end of August). Life after that? Who knows, but I'm sure it will be great!

And for your viewing pleasure, here is a sneak peak at some of our engagement photos:

We're almost there!

A Sea of Tulips

On Easter weekend, Richard (and I) finally got to visit the most beautiful state in the county: Oregon! (I suppose I am a little bias.) It was sunny and warm and green and glorious to behold! Spring had come and everything was in full-bloom.

There is one flower that I favor above all others, and that's the tulip (red in particular). So when my mom suggested we visit the tulip festival in Woodburn (south of Portland), I was ecstatic. And I never expected it to be quite this beautiful! As we pulled up to the farm, I thought I had reached paradise (I imagine gardens full of tulips in Heaven). Thousands and thousands of tulips spread as far as the eye could see, all in rows of different colors! It. Was. Stunning.

And since pictures say a thousand words, I'll let you take in the sea of tulips for yourself:

(My favorite color of tulips!)

Walking in the sea of tulips

Richard got a little bored and brought a toy to keep busy ;)

My beautiful mom

Tulips + Oregon + Richard = One happy girl!


And more Oregon pictures to come...